Woman: A Controls Engineering Approach Part One

Each day, we preform a routine. Within this routine, there are several different stages. Each routine being different for each person, however each routine has the same underlying structure of a process that requires an input, an output, some disturbances, and some sort of a feed back and/or feed forward influences. The need to have some sort of control over a process in order to obtain a desired output is what makes control engineering one of the most interesting areas of study for both mechanical and electrical engineers. Myself, being an electrical engineering graduate that has special interest in controls engineering, I have proposed myself a challenge of some sort. This challenge involving the break down of the woman and look at the control and understanding of women based on a engineering approach.

We have all seen something along the lines of the following(1):

1) To find a woman, you need time and money, therefor

woman = time x money

2) "Time is money" so

time = money, therefor
woman = money x money

3) "Money is the root of all problems"

money = rt(problems), therefor
woman = problems

The above being the stereotypically definition of a woman, however there is no control.

The overall process of a woman can be broken down into five major systems (SPERM systems), sexual, physical, emotional, rational, and maternal. Of these five major systems, the first three are the most desired for the man to wish he could control, while the last two systems are rather an interest of some men. However, in order to attempt to control these systems we are required to look at them in a defined (maybe stereotypical definition) each (2).

* Sexual: This is typically referred to as the business system of the woman. Its either got a week's time when you can "buy one, get one free" and they're always up for sex, or its the usual nothing sale or "Not in the mood".

* Physical: The physical system of the woman is typically associated with an exotic sports car. Visually appealing to the man, with sleek curves and uniqueness just begs you to get in and go for a rid. This system is directly connected to the sexual and emotional systems. The connection is either made by the man or by the woman.

* Emotional: An marginally stable electrical or mechanical system is the analogy usually sought here. Most of the time you can input data into the system, the system will accept it, us it throughout the rest of the system until it runs out or needs more data. If the desired result isn't produced, the input data is corrected. However, there are those rare occasions that when the simplest data is inputed into the system, it blows up in the users face.

* Rational: A system that can collapse upon itself if not controlled correctly. There times when some inputs will trigger an unexpected output resulting in possible undesired results. The Rational system is more of an unstable system and without knowing what is inside, the desired input and outputs can be obtained using a fuzzy logic or neural network approach.

* Maternal: The maternal system is the woman system with the most amounts of checks and balances. Within this system, there are countless checks on what would happen if this were to happen. It is the emotional link with rationality. Generally judging the outcomes of the inputs on the decisions made. This system is more dominate upon conception. The maternal system also triggers the largest defensive stance on issues that threaten them.

Over the duration of this collaboration of random rants, each of the systems will be looked at closer as a control system is designed that would be used to control a woman. Looking to the inputs, outputs, disturbances, and feed back/forward connections.

(1) Some random poster I saw along time ago.
(2) These come from collaborating with Jon Patten.